I came across this excellent post over at Possum Momma (a.k.a Atheist in a MiniVan) and though it would be fun to answer the question, and provide a brief commentary on the questions, here. I’d thoroughly recommend you read the fill post, the questionnaire is from a Sixth Grade “Science” project.
Question: Do unchristians make less moral choices than Christians?
Hypothesis: The Bible is the perfect guide to life that shows us how to be moral people. Without believing in the Bible you can’t know God and he can’t guide you and give you rewards for being a good person. I think people who aren’t Christian will be less successful.
Experiment: I will interview thirty people and ask them if they are Christian. I will give them the same questions so I have a control sample. I think they are immoral if they score lower than 15.
Questions I will ask. There are 20 points available.
- Have you ever spoke the name of our Lord in vain? – Our Lord? I don’t have one, so no. Score 1! (good start, let’s keep this up).
- Have you ever killed another human being? – If I answered yes to this, I’d have bigger problems than failing this morality test. No. Score 2.
- Have you every lied? – When I was 6 I told someone God was real. It was a cruel joke. Yes. Score 2.
- Have you ever had relations before marriage? – Hasn’t everyone? My mother is one example of a relation, and I’m not married. Yes. Score 2
- Do you go to church every Sunday or once a week? – Good one. I’d rather rub salt into my eyes. No. Personally I think this should gain me a point, but that’s probably not what the author had in mind. No. Score 2.
- Do you wish you had more stuff? – I wish I had more Bibles. Oh, that’s a conundrum. Yes. Score 2.
- Do you gossip? – Why? What have you heard? Yes. Score 2.
- Do you give to charity? – Yes, so long as said charity has no religious affiliations. Yes. Score 3.
- Do you listen to rap or heavy metal music? – I definitely don’t listen to Brave Saint Saturn, if that’s what you mean. Yes. Score 3.
- Have you ever had an abortion or been pro-choice? – Well I’m a man, so that’s abortion out of it. But am I so morally decrepit that I’ll try and force my views on other people? No. So, in this twisted logic that translated to a Yes. Score 3.
- Have you ever read Harry Potter or Spiderwick Chronicles or the Golden Compass? – It’s funny that I can get a point for this even though I’ve read numerous atheist books, such as The God Delusion. No. Score 4.
- Do you see movies with unwholesome content? – I usually see movies with my Girlfriend. Yes. Score 4.
- Do you pray every day? – I prey every day, does that count? No. Score 4.
- Do you believe that God is the creator of heaven and earth? – Well I don’t believe heaven exists, and I’m sure that if some entity did create the earth they would have done a better job, Like intelligently designing people to be clever enough not to be religious, instead of relying on the intelligent amongst us to evolve to such a state. Hell no. Score 4.
- Are you overweight because you eat too much? – No I’m overweight because God is punishing me for his non-existence. No. Score 5. (I’m overweight because I don’t exercise enough!)
- Do you take pride in accomplishments other than service to God? – I don’t take pride in anything. I love apathy. No. Score 6.
- Do you put God and Jesus first? – Er, I can’t put two things first. That’s like asking someone to dedicate themselves 110% to something. Can’t be done. Sorry. No. Score 6.
- Do you view pornography? – View? or interact with? No. Score 7.
- Do you practice temperance in every thing you do? – Such as my fanatical following of a religion? No. Score 7.
- Are you quick to anger? – Not according to the judge. Actually, I take pride (damn!) in the fact that I’m very calm, logical and diabolical un-flappable. So no. Score 8.
So I got an eight. Better than I thought I would. Admittedly I had to use some pedantic interpretations of the questions, but that’s ok in my book.
In all seriousness though, this questionnaire and it’s author can’t really be criticized. It all comes down the the parents who have ingrained this belief in the child that you can only be “moral” if you are a Christian. Note that you can’t achieve the “pass mark” unless you get at least some of the Christian exclusive activities right. It’s asking a question that only has three outcomes. Either you’re a Christian and moral, or a Christian and not moral or an unmoral non-Christian. There’s no fourth option.
How did you do?